Date scheduled

07/14/09 

Our home visit to finish up the homestudy part of the process has been scheduled for Monday July 27th.  

A Lesson in Patience

07/07/09

This adoption process is certainly a lesson on patience.  This is such a slow process.  I've been trying to look up Scripture on patience as time permits.  We still have not received a date for our home-visit yet.  I think we're last on the list because we were a bit slow on getting our paperwork turned in.  But that's okay.  It gives me more time to clean and organize, although I will more than likely put it off and then when we get a date scheduled, I'll be running around like crazy trying to get it all done.

A Way You Can Help

You may not be aware but there is an Adoption Tax Credit which currently allows families to claim some of their adoption costs on their taxes.  This tax credit is set to expire in December 2010.  There are over 130,000 children -- 4,000 in Pennsylvania -- who are waiting to find permanent families through adoption.  This does not include the international children.  If the tax credit is repealed and terminated, it could discourage many families from adopting a child.  This credit will have an impact on our adoption as well.  These children need to find permanent homes.  Please join our family, and other adoptive families, by writing to your state representatives to encourage them to sign the Adoption Tax Relief Guarantee Act of 2009, H.R. 213 to make it a permanent credit.

One part done

We finally got all of our background checks back, all four of us got our physicals, and we finally mailed in all of our paperwork a few days ago.  Now we're just waiting to schedule the home-visit.  We've been very busy lately so now I need to really work to get the house in order (de-cluttered) before the home-visit.  The home-visit should be the final part to completing the home-study.

Trained and Equipped

Last night we had our third and final training session.  We are now trained and equipped for the journey into adoption.  Last night we had a session on transracial adoption.  We also watched a movie about various forms of abuse -- sexual, physical, and psychological. We also learned about various resources available to use and to not be afraid to use them.  We also talked about being committed to the child. We were given a reminder to go out as a couple periodically which is something we don't do but maybe once a year. The boys, by the way, had great times with their babysitters those three nights while we were at training and I think it was really good for them to be away from us.  We got to bring our binders home to keep which is full of info on what we will need to know as we go through this process.  I had a headache after each training session because it was an overload of information and alot of it was heartbreaking.  Oh last night, we had pizza at the training session!  That was a plus!  Hee!  I don't think Lois (our agent) realized that we all didn't really get to eat dinner before the training sessions because we had to be there at 5:30 pm and each couple had at least 45 minutes of travel to get there.  We still have a few more forms to fill out and we are waiting on our background checks to come in (they're starting to arrive). Lois will call us in about two weeks to schedule our home visit to complete the home-study.  So I'm thinking by the end of June or beginning of July we may be able to start actively searching for our daughter again.

Training Session #2 Picked Their Brains

Tuesday night, May 26, was our second training session.  We started out learning about the effects of trauma, how to recognize the effects & symptoms, and how to deal with the behaviors.  A neuropsychologist was a guest speaker and he shared a wealth of information about how the brain functions, how the child's trauma will affect their brain, and how it manifests into certain behaviors.  He also touched upon how to "balance" the systems in their brains. It was extremely fascinating and I really wish I could learn more.  It helped to explain things even in ourselves, each other and our two biological boys.   I discovered I can no longer be my children's "frontal lobe" and must make them think for themselves to grow their own frontal lobes!  You may not know what I'm talking about, but I guess you had to be there to learn about the different parts of the brain and their functions.  Scott and I have joked about each other's brains using the different things we learned , but in all seriousness, it was a fascinating thing to learn about and it will help us to better understand our daughter. It was about a semester's worth of material crammed into 2 hours.  If our child ever needs a neuropsychologist, I know exactly who we will take her to.  He was fantastic! My brain was so loaded with information last night after the session, that I could not fall asleep.  My brain was processing everything for quite awhile last night!  Today we got our fingerprints done so hopefully we will get the paperwork for that and the other two background checks soon.  I'm still working on our pile of paperwork but I need to spend the time to finish it and get it turned in next week.

Full Steam Ahead!

Wow! Things are really moving along!  Monday, May 18th, we went to our first training session with our new adoption agent.  We are required to attend four 4-hour long training sessions that will help us to understand what these children go through so we will be better equipped to parent them.  We learned how to more accurately read the brief descriptions that we will see written up about each child.  We learned to "read between the lines" to figure out what they are truly saying about the child.  If we are really interested in a child, we can then request the more detailed information.  But that process is further down the road.  We watched three videos about what these children go through and the abuse they suffer.  It was absolutely heartbreaking, especially when you heard the voice of a little child speaking about their experience.  Several times I found myself in tears.  I can tear up now just thinking about this subject.  We learned about how this makes them feel and why they act out the way they do.  We learned about how they will grieve their birth families and what behaviors will manifest from this and how to deal with it.  We had a special guest speaker -- a 17 year old girl came and talked with us about her experience going through the foster care system.  She talked a little bit about her birth family but spoke on how in about 10 years she lived in 18 different places.  She spoke of the abuse she suffered in foster care.  She was adopted 5 years ago and she spoke on how she still struggles with certain issues.  She gave advice on how to approach the child we will adopt.  It was very helpful but yet at the same time, so sad to hear a child tell us in person of her ordeals.  One brief moment I wondered what the heck are we doing and can we actually handle this?  The answer is yes, we can handle this.  With God's help, we can do this.  Just because we're nervous or scared doesn't mean we can't get through it.  Somewhere out there is a little girl waiting for us to be her mommy and daddy. There's a girl out there who needs two brothers.  A girl who needs a safe haven.  Somewhere there is a precious child waiting to be loved by us and needing us.  I can't let her down because I'm scared.  Rats, I am sitting here sobbing as I type this.  This journey to adopting a daughter is going to be the most difficult and most emotional thing I've ever done.  We  also came home with a stack of papers about 2" thick to fill out.  This morning I mailed off our forms to request the two background checks we need.  Yesterday I registered us to get our fingerprints taken which we hope to do very soon.  The process seems to be moving much faster this time than the first.  

The Ball is Starting to Roll Again!!

Yippee!!!  We have scheduled our required training!  We have to go to four 4 hour training sessions on May 18 & 26, and June 1 & 8.  The training sessions are Monday nights from 5:30 - 9:30 pm which is a tad bit inconvenient but we'll do what we need to do!  Now, we just have to find babysitters but I'm sure it will all work out. (And I need to get busy cleaning and decluttering for the homestudy.)   Our homestudy should be done sometime shortly after we finish the training.  So perhaps by July or so, we can start actively searching again!! 

No info yet

I haven't heard from our new agency yet when she'll be starting the training session we're required to take.  She said it would probably be sometime over the summer.  I don't have anything new to report but I need to make a post once every 30 days or I am considered "inactive" and would lose my blogsite. 

Quick response

We did mail our registration for the agency we decided to go with and I attached our current home study and the family resume we printed up ourselves so she can get an idea about us.  I also enclosed a letter with a few questions we had.  I was so surprised to get a response from the agency about two days later.  She must have responded the same day she got it.  She doesn't know exactly when our training will be, but it will be in the next few months.  She answered every question I had.  So even though I might not have exact answers (like training dates), I am pleased to have such a quick response (which is something we didn't have with former agency.)  Our new homestudy will be done after our training.  So I have a few months to get my house back in order (I need to de-clutter!)